Looking at my posts, I realize that I have been neglecting to post to my own blog or to others. Then I look at what is going on in my life. My tiniest dog, a rescue who had a really horrible life before I found and brought him home. He had to have a major surgery to remove 12 of his teeth and 4 fistulas (holes in the mouth from teeth he has already had). Even there, he is not done, for he is a senior fellow, and he needs more oral surgery but our financial well is running dry. He also has kidney failure, likely from the teeth that were bad before we found and rescued him. I know he belonged to a drug person before, and there is no way that person is ever getting him back. So Mama (as I consider myself to my five chihuas and one cat and two goldfish) is cooking healthy food for the kiddos.
Then there is the man of my life, Richard, my significant other, who has had two cervical surgeries, and both have more or less failed, so the doctor was talking more surgeries, but I am taking him someplace else for another opinion of what can be done to help him. We will likely go to the VA since he is a vet, and he does have an attorney for a VA disability as well as being caused by his work since getting out. Anyway, I can only do so much to help each of my beloved ones.
I had a sore spot on the other previously non-cancerous breast, so I got a ultrasound, and now my doc is calling me as I think they want me to have a biopsy and it does show something irregular.
Now we are getting (or trying to get) a home on our own land – nothing expensive or fancy, but just comfortable, in Arizona. So looking at all the homes and telling the hubster all about them and getting hopes up for us both. And then I am starting to pack up things we don’t need, and I am redoing my file cabinet and also some nice chairs that I got for free that need work.
But at the end of each day, I stop and thank the Gods and spirits all for all the inspiration I encounter every single day in posts and the friendships I have built over the years. And especially to tell everyone I love how much they are loved. I don’t think the animals understand my words, but they definitely understand the things I do for them and the tones I use to talk to them. I never go to sleep no matter how tired I am until I tell everyone (pets and hubster) how much they are loved and give them all kisses. Life moves back too fast sometimes, and it is good to slow down and remember all the wonderful things we have learned in this life, the people we have loved, and to be sure to tell them all while we still can. I think of all the people who did hurt me, some very seriously physically and mentally, but I would not have the heart for others if I could not thank them at least in my soul for making me the person I am today. I have long believed we cannot really know compassion for others unless we have been through some life challenges, each one of us.
Today I went out in my side yard and I was so surprised and happy to see the whole yard full of beautiful wild violets blooming happily from the rain we have had. These are going with me along with the wild mint in my yard when we get moved. As I am looking around at this tiny and m0dest mobile home, I remember all the things I have put into it to make it a genuine home.
I have lived a very full life, and I want each and every one of you how much you have contributed to my life. I truly feel wealthy in a way that no gold or silver can ever buy. Consider that you each have received genuine thanks and love from me always. Thank you my friends.