Kindness is Free

Yesterday as my significant other, Richard, was getting ready to have a procedure in another room at the VA, I noticed a single older man in the waiting room who looked concerned and so I began to talk to him about the cost of homes today vs. the 1950s in El Paso, TX. when my parents bought a three-bedroom, one and a half bath well-built home with a big yard and a stone fence for $5,000. Right away he began to tell me about his relatives who bought a home here in Southern California cheap too. His face lit up and we shared talking costs of living and how as children we could play outside in the cool of the evenings in our streets without anyone worrying about whether we would be safe or not. Soon Richard came out. We said our goodbyes, and I know he was less concerned because this was the area of the hospital where men have procedures done.

Then we had to go to the lab, and while Richard was getting some lab work done, I noticed a large black man and another large young man who appeared to be his son or perhaps brother sitting a little further away. When Richard came out and we went to the elevator, they were done too and headed to the elevator. I noticed that the young man went to a sign on a door that no longer can be opened, and was pointing to the letters on it and saying his name at the same time. I immediately realized he had special needs, and I saw that the dad, who was calling his son to come get in the elevator was embarrassed, and I told him that I work with special needs adults and children, and his face lit up. I held up my thumb when the boy came over and said, “Good Job.” I could see a smile come on the young man’s face, and his dad was definitely relaxed and happy that someone did not treat him as though his son was a freak.

It doesn’t cost a thing to make someone feel good, especially in places where people are worried about things like their physical issues or are having children that might have some issues. I always note when children are cute or wonderful (even if they are not), and I try to talk to an exasperated parent who has neglected to bring some toys or activities for the child to while waiting to see a doctor. I want to make some little cloth bags with perhaps a few crayons in them and paper or coloring pages and perhaps a toy to offer the child.

At the Oncologists’ office, I start the women talking as a group, telling them how lovely they look, and always the smiles come or the looks of relief, and they immediately open up about their cancers. Then we all begin to encourage each other and to talk about our own experiences. Luckily mine is almost three years back now and despite choosing no radiation and no chemo, I am cancer free. I talk to them about how I did my own research because cancer, like a lot of other things we have never experienced, is a scary thing and we are overcome with fear when we first hear that WE have it. Who do we talk to about it other than the doctors, and what do all these things mean to us? But when we hear from others who have been through it and see their outlooks mentally and hear the choices they made and why, we begin to feel like it is not such a long and frightening road ahead perhaps.

We need kindness every day. It doesn’t cost anything, and it is good not only for those we give it to, but for our own health and well-being. Try a little kindness today.